Thoughts on Yinchuan

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  • It’s a city of about 1 million people.
  • The pollution is overwhelming.
  • People smoke everywhere. In the notaries office today a group of men were smoking in the waiting area and Nadia said, ‘Oh no Mom, they are smoking!!’ I was glad they couldn’t understand her. (I know that smoking is way more common in the rest of the world compared to America)
  • Only in China do you see street sweepers and shoe polishers that look like super models. It’s amazing.
  • It looks like life here could be very hard. Squeaking out a living with your hands. Most of the people look very weathered.
  • There is a distinct middle and upper class though.
  • It’s COLD, COLD, COLD. The wind sometimes makes it blistering to be outside.
  • It’s on the edge of a desert so we are thirsty all the time. It’s like going to Vegas and you can’t get enough liquid in your system.
  • No English!
  • The Western restaurant in the hotel is not western.
  • The people like to drink everything hot. So in the morning the buffet has HOT milk, all the juices are hot (including the orange juice which is just weird), hot water always boiling and the yogurt just sits out warm on the counter. And forget trying to get a soda for breakfast. We finally started bringing our drinks down with us.
  • We really freak people out here. It’s different than our last 2 trips. People are just not accustomed to Westerners.
  • Crossing the street here seems way more dangerous than on our other trips which I thought were as scary as it could get.
  • We saw the “Yinchuan Catholic Church” and it looked like it could hold about 7 people.
  • The dust masks here are like a fashion statement. They are decorated every way you could imagine.
  • Today we found out why. Our guide Tony said that in the spring when the sandstorms come almost everyone has to wear a mask all the time and the sky is yellow not blue from all the dust.
  • That is also why it’s called the Yellow River.
  • We haven’t seen the outskirts of the city so I can’t really speak to that.

A Rocky Day in Yinchuan – Day 7

China 2011 - Day 7
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Whew! What a day this has been. The girls both slept until after 7 am, which was nice. Amelie woke up quietly, in fact because she is so scared she does everything quietly. We played a little and Amelie stayed very wrapped in herself, had her body closed off and not really looking at any of us. I was feeling good because all of the MSG had worked its way out of my system and I declared that I would not be taking any more chances on this trip, even if it meant plain white rice, noodles and Oreos for the rest of the trip. We headed down to breakfast and she perked up a little because she really likes to eat. We decided to go straight over to the store to find some noodles I could heat up with the boiling water from the hot pot and a baby bathtub for Amelie. We had also decided that we would put Amelie in the carrier with Mike facing forward so that she could get used to him. We put her in there and she started screaming her head off. It was like Gotcha all over again. TOP.OF.HER.LUNGS. Tears were free flowing and we just headed out with her screaming. She calmed down and we walked up the street to the store and by then she had mellowed out and her curiosity got the better of her. We did our shopping and found a bath tub that we will give to Tony when we leave. I am sure he will be able to find a use for it.

Once we got back to the room and we unbuckled Amelie from the carrier she went crazy again. Screaming and screaming. Once she calmed down I decided that it was time for a bath. We had her Gotcha day clothes sent out to be cleaned since quite a bit of the stuff I brought didn’t fit her – did I mention she has chunky baby legs? And I was able to wash her hair in the sink the first night, but she really needed a bath. She thought that was great fun and splashing around and started to make little noises. Then it was Nadia’s turn for the tub which was hilarious since she is so tall, it looked like a basketball player trying to get in Yugo, but she was determined to take a bath in there like Amelie. While we were in the bathroom, Amelie was on the bed with Mike and she really freaked out again when he moved her a little further up on the bed. Hysterical screaming just because he touched her. It was so, so, so sad. We read everything we needed to read and knew that something like this might happen, but when you are living it out, it’s horribly sad and painful for your heart. Mike and I know that God is sovereign and that He is watching over us and means for us to be a family, but that doesn’t change how bad it can hurt in the moment. The heartbreaking part of the morning was that she was just so terrified of Mike.

We got her down for a nap and spent some time in the other room just playing with Nadia and giving her some much needed attention. She is having a hard time understanding why Amelie won’t just play with her or why she is still upset or why she cries about Mike. Tony was picking us up at 2:30 to head back to the notary so we bundled up and headed downstairs. We read over everything in English to confirm it was correct. A good thing about that was that we got a bit more information about Amelie’s abandonment details. After the notary Tony said he was going to take us to a park to walk around. We strapped Amelie back in the carrier and thank goodness this time it was just a small whimper. The park has a little lake and a water park and a small amusement park. You could tell that in the spring and summer it would be very beautiful. We saw people flying kites, playing poker, feeding pigeons and rollerblading along with lots of people just out taking walks. They also had quite a few sculptures around the park that I snapped photos of.

China Day 7 - 2/16/2011

China Day 7 - 2/16/2011

China Day 7 - 2/16/2011

We were quite the sensation once again. I was saying “ni hao” to the children and they would get all embarrassed and then say “ni hao” back. We walked all through there and then Nadia wanted to ride the plane.

China Day 7 - 2/16/2011

After the park we went into Dico’s chicken place for the girls to play on the inside playground where it was a little warmer. Both girls had a lot of fun and the kids and parents in there just didn’t know what to think of us.

China Day 7 - 2/16/2011

China Day 7 - 2/16/2011

We went back to the hotel for about an hour and then Tony came to pick us up for dinner. I have no idea what the name of the place was, but Tony arranged for us to have a private room that basically had a table for 6 in it. We let Tony do the ordering and he said, “No mono sodium” That made us laugh, but he was so worried and said that he worried about it all night. He did call us yesterday evening to see if I needed a doctor, but Mike just told him again that all we could do was wait it out. The food was incredible!!!! We have been longing for such good food in the last couple of days because no one speaks English anywhere and it’s very hard to convey what you need. We had a spicy cold beef, fried rice, eggplant (unbelievably good), steamed eggs and pork balls. The girls both loved the pork and Amelie was turning down all the other stuff and wanted me to keep shoveling in the pork. We headed back to the hotel and got jammies on and then watched part of “My Neighbor Totoro”. Amelie really opened up with us a little more and even played a little game with Nadia. She still seemed confused, but she was a lot more relaxed and curious.

It’s very hard to see her just be silent. She said something to me while she was in the bathtub and she said something to Nadia while they were playing, but 99% of the time she is completely silent. She is very intelligent though and is already starting to mimic somethings that Nadia does. But she seems to stop the second she notices that we are watching. Our day did end a bit up, but after the regression of the morning we are all quite worn out. It was the hardest on Mike today and very emotionally draining. I wish I could make Amelie see that he is just the best dad ever, but for now we pray and ask God to comfort her and let her know that we love her so much.

Tuesday in Yinchuan

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Today was mainly a family bonding day and we only took a few photos. We’ll get more uploaded tomorrow.

Amelie slept from 9 pm – 6:30 am. Praise the Lord! I know that she was so tired and worn out from the emotional day. We got her up on the bed with us and all started playing. She opened up to Mike and even gave him some half smiles. We went down to breakfast and then had to get right downstairs to meet Tony and our driver. They took us straight to the notary to do some more paperwork. Amelie had been doing really well and opening up more and more, but when we got to the conference room she really started to get upset and nervous. Her little eyes got all teary again and she wanted to be snuggled up against me. We could tell that she was starting to panic because it was like yesterday. Once we finished there and got back into the van she relaxed again and we headed over to the bank.

We waited quite a while at the bank to get receipts for the various fees we have paid since arriving. While in the waiting area Amelie wanted to get down and started to mimic what Nadia was doing with Mike. She started spinning around and around and then would stumble into my arms and laugh and laugh. Then I introduced her to goldfish and she really liked those and so Mike started giving them to her. After the bank Tony took us to a little children’s shop so we could find some shoes for the orphanage. Tony did the negotiation and I hope he didn’t haggle too hard. The poverty here is overwhelming and I hope that we were able to help that family out with the 20 pairs of shoes we bought.

Tony then took us down to a more commercial shopping area and we went into a toy store to find something for Nadia and Amelie to play with in the room. It’s just miserably cold here and I am keeping some of our other toys stashed for Guangzhou. While in the toy store Amelie got excited about a lot of stuff and said a couple things to Nadia. We could not understand, but it was exciting to hear her little voice.

Yesterday at lunch I ate something that I thought might have had MSG but I took my chances because I was so hungry. True to form, just about 20 hours later while we were in the toy store it hit me.  Heart racing like mad, burning up and thinking I was going to puke. We decided go back to the hotel instead of going out to eat with everyone. I was down for the count. Between that and the pulled muscle in my chest I was feeling awful. We all laid down for naps and slept a very long time.

Once we were up we played some more with Amelie. After a while I touched her and she was burning up. Her temperature was 102 and she has this icky cough so we gave her some medicine. Once again I am so happy that I packed a pharmacy since no one speaks English here except our guide and the Italians who are adopting too. Mike is still coughing and it sounds really bad. Nadia is the only who is well out of the group. I pray that she is able to stay healthy.

Oh and tonight Nadia was feeding Amelie some Cheerio’s and when she got up to grab something Amelie turned to her and said, “Jie Jie!” Which means big sister. ADORABLE!

Your comments have meant so much to us and your prayers bless us greatly.

Gotcha Day – 2.14.2011

Hello Everyone!!! First off I want to say that we are not putting up a Gotcha video right now because we are WAY too tired to edit and you can read the details below. Nadia and I in the orphanage conference room.

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We all woke up about 6:30 and started to get ready. I double checked that everything we needed was packed and was surprisingly calm. I felt so much more prepared for this trip compared to Nadia’s. We went to eat at the breakfast buffet and even though my tummy was filled to the brim with butterflies I made myself eat some sticky buns and egg fried rice. I would have given almost anything for a Coke Light, but that was not a choice so I had hot tea. We came back to the room and Mike had one last talk with Nadia about how this was going to be scary for Amelie and that it was going to be a stressful day for all of us. He also let her know that we were going to spend a lot of time in government offices.

We went down the lobby with all our gear and Tony and our driver were waiting. We headed down the road and I was thinking that I had some time to get my thoughts in order and prepare myself. I had barely started to say a quick prayer and BAM we were pulling into the complex. I told Mike it was so close to the hotel that I didn’t even have time to freak out. The other 2 couples who are from Italy arrived just after us and we were all lead into the main building and into a conference room. We started doing our paperwork immediately and introduced ourselves to the other couples. While we were doing that a couple children came in and were talking and playing around with the adults.I want to stop here to tell other China adoptive parents that Ningxia does not have the “harmonious period” like other provinces. So before we even saw Amelie we were signing all the official documents and giving our fingerprint signatures that she was ours forever. That was fine with us, but I found it interesting that they are not like the other provinces. Okay so we are finished with the paperwork and in come all the kids. BAM! We don’t have the cameras on or anything.

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They get Amelie over to us and say, “Baba, Mama, Jie Jie” while pointing at us and she starts screaming at the TOP.OF.HER.LUNGS. They hand her to me and the screaming continues. It was the saddest thing you ever saw and while we were prepared for that it was still heartbreaking to see. So the first 6 minutes of video is her completely hysterical. I finally turned the camera off. The nannies were trying to give her candy and other goodies to get her to calm down, but every time they came near she would reach out to them and scream even louder. I handed her to Mike to see if that would help and Nadia hopped up in my lap and said, “When are they bringing our baby? When are they bringing Amelie?” I said, “That is Amelie.” And Nadia said something like she couldn’t tell because the baby was screaming so loud.

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The director was introduced to us and he gave me a sheep scarf and Amelie a necklace made from a mountain top in the province. He also talked to us about how he knew we would give her a good life, but she had a good life there at the orphanage. I told our guide to tell him that we “knew they took very good care of the children and they are very healthy and we are grateful.” (meanwhile the other 2 families from Italy were having a blast with their kiddos who were both boys and older so understood a little better what was going on)

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Then we were all taken out into the main area where they had a little group of children waiting and a bunch of the nannies. We posed for photos with the director, just our family and all the families with the children. That part was a total blur – they just moved us where they wanted us and there was a lot of noise and Amelie screaming at the top of her lungs while I was holding her. Then suddenly it was time to go. The whole time inside Mike and I couldn’t wait to get Amelie away from all the women who were trying to make it better, but were just making it worse because she would scream even louder to try and get them to take her. We got out to the van and I climbed in the back with Amelie and she stopped crying instantly. I have no idea how long all that took and how long she screamed, but it felt like forever.

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She was shaking and breathing really heavy with tears about to spill out, but at least she was not screaming and started to really look at me. I just kept talking to her in the most soothing way possible. I told her that we loved her and that we were glad that she was going to be a part of our family. We rode in the van over to the Kodak store to have the photo taken for her “red book” which is her adoption decree from China. While there Amelie just looked at me and wanted to be held by me and didn’t want Mike to do anything or come near her. Here we are at the Kodak store when Amelie was really watching me closely and then fell asleep.

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After the photos we went to the civil affairs office and did a lot of paperwork. We answered questions that we have answered about 20 times before and signed more documents. I gave Nadia and Amelie each a lollipop and she ate it up. She was still looking nervous and had tears about to well up the entire time, but she was improving. She what felt like 50 layers of clothes on and they had us put her coat we brought on her too so it was like holding a giant marshmallow. She did not make any sounds at all during all of this except to cry. After the civil affairs office we went and got some food at a chicken place. Amelie let me feed her and then we decided that Mike better do it since she was so freaked out by him. She started to cry, but wanted the food so she laid all the way back in the highchair with her face as far from him as possible and refused to look at him. She let him feed her, but that was it. When I took the food back to finish she sat right up and looked at me while I fed her. Then we went to the hotel and I got her undressed ASAP and changed her diaper and put some fresh clothes on and then laid her on the bed with me so she could have a quick nap. While the nap was going on Nadia was doing this in the other room – writing a note to Amelie.

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We want you to know she did that all on her own. “Mike is not a monster. From Nadia”

Then Tony returned to take us back to the Civil Affairs office to get our red book. From there we headed to the police station to have our photos taken for her Chinese passport. We had to wait there a long time and had a lot of people staring and asking questions of each other to figure us out.  At 3:35 pm Amelie finally cracked the tiniest of smiles for me. It was fast and fleeting, but I saw it and it gave me hope and I teared up. We had her 6 hours at this point. After the police station we came back to the hotel and I sat Amelie on the bed and Nadia got to work with the toys. The very first thing Nadia wanted to do was read her “moo ba la la la” and it was so sweet. After just a bit Mike laid down on the bed next to her and she refused to look at him the entire time but she didn’t scream with him there. I was even able to get right up and do a few things like go to the bathroom and she didn’t scream. We brought some Little People animals and some peek a blocks and they were a hit.

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Through nearly 8 hours she was completely silent except for the crying. We know that she can say some Chinese words, but she didn’t say anything and really just looked so scared of us. We decided that we would head over to the store we found last night and get some supplies. We had Nadia in the stroller and I put Amelie in the cart with her peek a block she had the death grip on. About half way through our trip she started to swing her legs and bang the block on the cart and look a little – dare I say it? Happy. And then while we were checking out I got her to smile and you would have thought I had climbed Mount Everest I was so proud! It was such a thrill to see those little teeth and cute lips. By the time we got back to the hotel I had her laughing which was precious.

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We went to dinner and when I started to feed her I couldn’t do it fast enough and she had a huge smile after every bite. By the end of dinner she was dancing along to Stevie Wonders “I just called to say I love you.” Nadia was like “there’s a happy face! Sissy is dancing!” And Nadia really needed to see that. In so many ways I think that today was a disappointment for her sweet little heart. It didn’t really matter how many times we had told her that Amelie would probably be afraid and nervous. To really live it out and not understand why she isn’t just up and excited to be playing was just really hard on her. And Nadia didn’t really get a nap today, so we thought she was a trooper through it all. We know that Amelie will be following her around in no time, but today was a hard time for her. We are very proud of how well she did, because it was stressful for all of us.

We got back to the room and I got the girls in their jammies and teeth brushed and we had a little more play time. At bedtime Nadia sang her 2 songs about Jesus and she fell asleep in my arms. Precious. Amelie said 1 word the entire time we had her and that was when a display fell over at the store. I am praying that we get to see a little more of her personality tomorrow and that she can relax even more and try to communicate with us. She is just so adorable and very curious so I want to see her come through this fear.

Here are a few other random things about Amelie:

They said she was a good eater and this is true and totally opposite of Nadia. She is wearing a solid 18 months for clothes. I have some 12 month I brought that are too short that I am going to give to the orphanage. She has these adorable chunky little baby legs – must be because she eats anything. Her hair is much lighter than Nadia’s and it curls up on the ends.

We are blessed and we are thankful for all of you who have kept us in your prayers. Please continue to do so as we start our life as a family of four with one very scared little girl.